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Review: Star Wars Force Awakens
Eric Schaen (12/31/2015)
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Related: Clix Craves: Star Wars
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Star Wars Spoiler Free Review
To truly get what I am about to explain you need to understand the particular perception of film that inhabits my brain. I want to be clear; I have no problem with suspending belief. I want to see fantastic characters accomplishing implausible feats, really I do. All I require is some shred of an explanation as to why they can do what they do. Also once the rules of a given world are established, the movie should stay within the rules of that world. That’s all I ask.

Star Wars DroidsRemember in “A New Hope”, when lightspeed is introduced? It was one of the coolest effects ever. But consider this, it is explained that one has to plot a course with lightspeed and that it takes a few moments to retrieve the data needed to do so. Han Solo also explained to Luke Skywalker and I quote: "Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, boy! Without precise calculations we could fly right through a star or bounce too close to a supernova, and that'd end your trip real quick, wouldn't it?"

This implies that achieving lightspeed requires a bit of preparation and precise handling without which, you’re ass is toast. In this film, they just jump to lightspeed at the push of a button and even make the jump from inside another ship! You heard me, from inside another ship. WTF??!!

On more than one occasion in the Force Awakens, characters hit with Blaster fire bleed out. No, I’m not kidding. Since when do blasters make wounds that spill blood? The correct answer: NEVER! In all the previous installments blasters are bolts of energy and leave a burn mark on wherever they strike. So why do dying Stormtroopers and other characters suffer lacerations when shot by a blaster? It may look dramatic, but it breaks the rules set by all the previous films.

These two items may not bother the casual moviegoer, but to any self-respecting fan that grew up watching Star Wars; it’s a justified call to full on Nerd rage. That being said, these points are the lessor of the problems with this film.

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Your Comments:

Lies: "TFA wasn't the worse movie ever made, far from it. but its the only movie that had fans leaving the theater afterwards actually mad. Mad at the film and Abrams. With all the problems in the prequels, they never had THAT reaction. "

Lies: "nobody has a problem with "midichlorians", its just part of the universe."

I remember quite a bit of rage. As a refresher, George Lucas took one of the most iconic villains ever, and turned him into a failed Jesus Christ complete with virgin birth! Compelling lines like "Yippee!" and "Nooooooooooooooooooooooo" caused the treatment of Vader to be worse than Jar Jar or anything in Force Awakens.

Posted by: Kragnorak on 9/20/2016 11:29:37 AM
@Lord Vader

I think you mean that the prequel films were better then TFA. Sure, the original trilogy was even better (that should go without saying) but the prequels at least were true to the created universe and were they're own stories. TFA was a fanfic retelling of A New Hope with a Mary Sue character - that's worse then Jar Jar Binks. Think about it - worse then JAR JAR BINKS - that's bad, that's really bad, but its true.

TFA wasn't the worse movie ever made, far from it. but its the only movie that had fans leaving the theater afterwards actually mad. Mad at the film and Abrams. With all the problems in the prequels, they never had THAT reaction.

3 out 5 stars is generous and um ... nobody has a problem with "midichlorians", its just part of the universe.


Posted by: Truth on 7/28/2016 12:11:17 PM
@ freindly - I'm not so sure it should read: "It's not *a* bad bad bit of filmmaking". (bad twice)

Nothing worse than correcting someone on an error while making one yourself. And to think, you didn't even have to write multiple paragraphs to make an error. You go dude!

As for me I enjoyed the film. Sure it has some problems but anything is better than Jar Jar Stinks!

Posted by: Wade on 1/7/2016 5:49:10 PM
Excellent review. TFA is better than the prequel films but it is a bit disappointing when compared to the original trilogy.

@ Friendly, it would be nice if you actually commented on anything regarding the movie or the points the reviewer brings up about the film. As it stands you just come off like a pathetic troll.

Posted by: Lord Vader on 1/7/2016 5:23:07 PM
Page 1, Paragraph 3, Sentence 1
Reads: "...pitchforks and torches just here me out."
Should Read: "pitchforks and torches just *hear* me out."

Posted by: @FriendlySpellchecker on 1/7/2016 1:44:52 PM
Page 1, Paragraph 2, Sentence 2
Reads: "It’s not bad bit of filmmaking"
Should read: "It's not *a* bad bad bit of filmmaking"

Posted by: @FriendlySpellchecker on 1/7/2016 1:43:04 PM
@ You'll never know
Lucas's words not mine! Doesn't stop me obsessing over it though!Did you enjoy it?

Posted by: MantisWarrior on 1/7/2016 11:13:06 AM
@MantisWarrior: "Kid's film" sounds just a little bit condescending. *eyebrow raise*

Posted by: You'll never know... on 1/5/2016 7:39:18 AM
I'd give the film a good 4/5. Star wars is, in essence, a kids film. Us nerds just obsess over the little things too much. I enjoyed most of the plot homages to a new hope as they had enough spin on them and as for blasters causing bleeding, perhaps they're more cutty thirty years on in design. The only thing that prevented the 5 for me is that the first order comes across as somewhat incompetent and no threat to the resistance. Think about how many obvious imperial blunders there are. Do you really believe the resistance could lose?

Posted by: MantisWarrior on 1/2/2016 3:25:53 AM
Glad to hear that Harrison still has it. Thanks for not spoiling anything.

Posted by: Danger5 on 1/1/2016 5:25:16 PM
I have to say, I agree with this review. It was pretty good but could have been a lot better.

Posted by: Scotty Summers on 12/31/2015 5:53:20 PM
I agree with most of your points. But, Fin mentioned that the attack on Jakko was his first action after training, so he was a noob and that was his first exposure to the brutality of the Bad Guys. Good observations of Rey.

I fought hard to LIKE this movie, since I despise JJAbrams. Enough to punch him in the nose if I ever met him. That much. Friends couldn't accept my reasons, which usually doesn't bother me, but I realized that most fantasy fans love it while hardcore sci-fi fans do not. I concluded that this is not sci-fi at all, but light fantasy with a space setting. That doesn't make it sci-fi. You can have a sci-fi movie solely on a planet without any ships or blasters (like Blade Runner). As light fantasy, I can accept this movie more easily and just try to enjoy it for what it is--a kid's film.

Posted by: Jon on 12/31/2015 1:37:48 PM
Reading your review made me realize a couple of things... Yes, Rey learned to use the Force very well and gain control quickly. Perhaps she had heard a few stories about mind tricks and decided to give it a try while remaining calm? As I recall Finn stated that that was his first real mission on Jakku. He had seen on his 'first day on the job' how the First Order operates and he just couldn't handle it. Ergo the defection. I would say 3.5 out of 5 stars ;)

Posted by: Ho1ocau5t on 12/31/2015 12:55:50 PM